If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I deserve this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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