he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A+ Viking dick
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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