thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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