Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
