I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
