small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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