I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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