I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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