so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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