The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
