with your own penis?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
