its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
