There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
