Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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