Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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