hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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