i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
