Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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