you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
