She said her name was "party"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
