I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
