problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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