I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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