it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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