she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
