worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
