I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize