just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
