your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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