Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize