roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I need to calm my uterus...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
