I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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