I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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