And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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