at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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