hotel room ftw
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize