You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
