I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
