5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
