Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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