you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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