the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
