Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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