She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
