Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
