I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
