Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
