Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
