well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
