He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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