we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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