But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
