So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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