This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize