Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
