how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just want to make out with him forever
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
