do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
