i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
soo... how was my night?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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