she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
