Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
